TheBehst

Reality TV is Back

2012-01-25T09:58:00.003-06:00

Back Talking
Back Biting
Back Stabbing

Is this your reality?

Kool-Aide Super Heroes

2012-01-09T16:43:00.001-06:00

With grape powder comes grape responsibility.

Unless You Enjoy Being Cynical

2011-12-29T07:56:00.002-06:00

There in no fun in a funk!

I'm not sure how this will end.

2011-11-21T10:37:00.001-06:00

Humpty Dumpty occupied a wall...

Did I leaven anything out?

2011-11-19T08:01:00.002-06:00

Bred. Bed. Dead. Bread.

Aching Tooth

2011-02-26T15:29:00.001-06:00

I guess that's why they put crowns on them.

Have Mercy

2011-02-25T21:34:00.001-06:00

Can we have a chorus in life? If so, mine is gonna be the "have mercy" from Billy Idol's version of "To Be a Lover".

Evaporation

2011-02-12T10:08:00.001-06:00

In the water cycle, could evaporation be considered the moisture riser?

Maybe, it's supposed to make non-readers feel good about themselves.

2011-02-08T09:39:00.003-06:00

Do readers really need a digest?

an update way passed due

2010-10-25T11:09:00.002-05:00

You know the expression "just in case" as in "I brought an apple, just in case". Well, since it has been forever since we carried cases (except for maybe a portable hard drive in a USB adapter/case), I think we should say "I brought an apple, just in plastic grocery bag".

Treated Like Furniture

2010-10-14T21:22:00.001-05:00

I hope she doesn't think that I treat her like part of the furniture when I tell her that she is a good drawer and a good dresser.

ineffable

2010-10-04T20:46:00.000-05:00

a one word oxymoron

The Derivative is The Slope of the Tangent

2010-09-21T14:25:00.001-05:00

Speaking of tangent, what's for dinner?

A Great Inclination

2010-09-15T07:43:00.003-05:00

Is it an oxymoron to have a great inclination to stay in bed all morning? If there really was a great inclination, you would just slide out of bed. However, with no inclination at all, you could just sleep all day long.

Now, one might equate inclination with a purpose. If you do, you might catch the dual meaning of the last sentence of the previous paragraph. But, some do not have any inclination at all, not even an inkling.

Did I tell you I was gonna become a minimalist? Once again

2010-09-12T08:16:00.004-05:00

If you're gonna maintain a minima list, you should take into account the maxima. You can find both by solving the equation f'(x)=0 where differentiable. These can tested solving for f''(x) at the critical points: if f''(x) <0 it is a maximum if f''(x)>0 it goes on the minima list.

Did I tell you I was gonna become a minimalist? Revisited

2010-09-12T08:13:00.001-05:00

I just couldn't deal with the hypocrisy; encouraging minimalism yet adding another -ism to the world.

Watch Your Kidneys.

2010-09-11T17:44:00.002-05:00

The phenomena of organ harvesting has given new meaning to the highwayman's phrase "stand and deliver".

She's Organizing.

2010-05-06T11:10:00.002-05:00

I hope that doesn't mean she is going around trying all of her pick up lines on livers and hearts and gall bladders and kidneys.

What's a nice gizzard like you doing in a place like this?

Anatomical Problems of the Funny

2010-04-22T11:33:00.002-05:00

"The muscle's (subscapularis) attachment to the head of the humerous allow it to rotate the arm inward."

S(i)MILE

2010-04-21T11:11:00.001-05:00

His faced was distorted like a Picasso painted smile with an extra eye in it.

Teacher Appreciation

2010-04-18T12:04:00.001-05:00

Good teachers make lesson plans. Bad teachers have moron plans.

A New Study

2010-03-17T12:10:00.001-05:00

A new study shows that quitting smoking reduces the risk of menthol illness.

EMOtional Intelligence

2010-03-07T07:53:00.002-06:00

It is uncanny the way technology solves our problems in the most unexpected ways. Before, the only two feelings that I was in touch with were tired and hungry. Perhaps, they were surrogates for other unfelt feelings, because it seems as if I was tired and hungry all the time.

Worry no more! Because, now on Facebook, you can become a fan of a whole slew of profiles that match exactly how you are feeling. Just, type it in. Look for the best match. Become a fan. Feel the release.

What to Talk About

2010-03-05T10:23:00.001-06:00

Although they are topical, some medicines should not be discussed in public.

It's Not What You Think

2010-02-28T20:10:00.000-06:00

Fast Times at Ridgemont High

A Bustling Economy

2010-02-03T06:17:00.004-06:00

Margarine fuels the hydrogenated economy!

For more serious opinions, please check out VBORING. He has also a place of his own on the side bar => but don't worry, he's drinking cranberry juice with no trans-fat.

Change Comes from Within

2010-01-25T09:11:00.002-06:00

It's amazing, that almost everywhere you go (pun intentionally unintended as to avoid toilet humor), you see baby changing stations. As prolific as these tables of convenience may be, all the parents (and other caregivers of the village) always exit with the same babies.

Facebook is lame. Let's return to blogging!

2010-01-08T10:57:00.003-06:00

Maybe you have noticed that Facebook is getting kind of lame. I noticed it. Yet, I find that I still spend the same amount of time on it, probably even more. It's a similar kind of relationship to food that is unsatisfying. Before just saying, walk "away from the ~~plate~~ computer", which is good advice, let us examine some other factors.

Walking away can be a bit challenging if checking Facebook has become a habit. It can be very difficult if it has been fulfilling a need. Perhaps, it is lame because it is not feeding the need anymore.

This brings me to the other factor: stages of development. Another reason (or another way of stating the previous ) that Facebook is getting lame, is that our relationship with it has grown. We were happy to have communication with friends, joyed at getting attention on our walls, and thrilled to find old friends. Now what? Like most relationships, you get to the point where you have to choose to use the opportunity to grow into new and deeper stages or play Mafia Wars.

A Quantum Oxymoron

2009-12-30T10:05:00.002-06:00

Speaking of electromagnetic radiation, I was sitting in a restaurant staring at the pink, blue, and yellow individual envelopes of zero calorie artificial sweeteners, pondering the remaining true great question of modern physics:

How is energy released in discrete packets of lite?

Let There "Be" Light

2009-11-08T08:47:00.008-06:00

Light, according to our current (no pun intended) physics*, is an electromagnetic wave. It is an interesting coincidence** to note that the magnetic field (B) is generated by a moving electron (e). Baha'u'llah talks about the creation as the joining of the letters "B" and "E"***(the Creator said Be and it was).

*Electrically, a current is a moving charge i.e. electron.

**I don't think coincidence is the right word, but i do not know what is.

***From a foot note in The Summons of the Lord of Hosts:
In all such instances in the Writings where the letters "B" and" E" are mentioned, the Arabic letters are Kaf and Nun, the two consonants of the Arabic word Kun, which is the imperative meaning "Be".

2009-11-06T06:48:00.000-06:00

I wish people would make up their minds. For forty years,
they have been saying "Be yourself". Now, all of a sudden,
past Saturday, they all changed their minds

American Units of Measurement*

2009-10-08T06:09:00.002-05:00

If you have a bandage 3 inches wide and 60 inches long, will it wrap one foot.

*For Leila.

Now What?

2009-09-16T10:53:00.001-05:00

I set up Puppy Linux inside a Virtualbox virtual machine. Now, what do i do with it?

Proper Time to reHydrate

2009-09-03T21:35:00.002-05:00

Not after a large plate of Singapore Fried Rice.

The Problem with Youtube

2009-08-24T09:58:00.002-05:00

Howdy folks! I am at work, doing some programming for a new well. Because of the detailed nature of the work and having to keep a lot of numbers and indexes straight, I listen to music to shut out interruption. I do not have any music with me, so I listen to music videos on Youtube.

I just realized that, all morning, as I am working, the music stops after every song. And I unconsciously interpret the void in the music as a cue to take a break. So, I get up, go to the galley looking for something to eat. Hmm, I should correct this somehow.

a little or a lot?

2009-07-29T09:47:00.001-05:00

if you were given little, you may ask why were you deprived of a lot.

if you were given a lot, you may think that it is by your own doing.

Flood Tolerant Rice

2009-07-24T15:42:00.002-05:00

It's nice that researchers are working hard to develop rice that is tolerant to flooding. Hence, less would be ruined by the natural disaster and relieve much of the world who depend on rice as a staple from higher food prices. To help in this effort, I have come up with a name for this particular variety - "Long Rain Rice".

Not Waisting Your Time

2009-07-16T07:25:00.004-05:00

I am proud to say that I am not wasting your time. Well, at least, not wasting much of it. According to googleanalytics people spend an average of 00:00:42 (that is fourty-two seconds) "time on site". Now you can get back to work.

The Sound of Fall

2009-07-10T12:46:00.002-05:00

As a relief to those sweltering in the summer heat, I present the sound of fall:

autumnatopoeia

Capitalism and Punctuality

2009-07-01T17:16:00.000-05:00

This one is for all the grammar geeks.

Cascade Control of Bicycles

2009-06-28T21:48:00.002-05:00

So, some of the activities that I currently dabble in other than making bad jokes, is bike riding and control systems.

When I ride on the sidewalk along Red Bluff, I have been thinking about whether to look up or look down. If I look down, I can ride fairly straight. If I look up, I don't drive as straight I am all over the road, but I can better see and avoid pedestrians, other bikers, and fire hydrants.

Enter cascade control. One strategy for control is called cascade control. This adds another stage to the feedback control. So, normally, I would be looking up and steering (badly). In the cascade scenario, I would look up occasionally to watch out for obstacles and to plot a course. I would look down to steer along that course.

Cascade controls gives the best of both worlds. I have the safety of looking up (even if it is only occasionally due to human limitations) and the relatively straight. Looking down, I can keep straight.

Somehow, when I was composing this on the bike, it seemed to be a better blog post.

Forgotten Payload

2009-06-15T07:53:00.002-05:00

I filter my mail. Now, before you go claiming that I don't like you, I also scan my junk mail box to see if you did send me a message. Today, there was a surprise in my junk mail box. Well, there is always a "surprise". That is why I filter my mail to avoid such surprises. It looks like a certain Zhang forgot to attach his payload before he sent it. Now, I don't feel bad when I forget to attach documents to my emails. After all, even the professionals can forget.

You have to click on it to read it. I wonder how many people replied and said "you forgot to attach your payload"

Overslept

2009-03-08T07:54:00.002-05:00

I forgot to set my clock. So I woke up at 6:30 instead of 5:30. I was shocked and saddened to be drinking water (and miss breakfast). Then it hit me (not taking the hint that was still dark outside) that with the time change, the time of sunrise changes as well.

If you want to get philosophical about it, I would agree with you that all this time change business and even the concept of night and day is silliness to the sun. But, tell me, do you have the energy to get philosophical, well do you?

New Vocabulary

2009-03-03T10:20:00.002-06:00

Galley = Dining Hall
Quarters = Accommodations
Manifest = The list of helicopter passengers
Personnel Basket = Elevator (lift)

Plus there are a lot more explicative and other interesting expressions

Designer Knockoffs

2009-02-27T18:25:00.001-06:00

Isn't that what they wanted Zoolander to do?

All in all ...

2009-02-27T15:19:00.000-06:00

I like the sheruts better.

Rides Rides Rides

2009-02-25T13:30:00.001-06:00

Automobile
Helicopter
Boat
Crane

Piastre

2009-02-17T15:41:00.001-06:00

The piastre or piaster was a unit of currency. It was originally equal to one silver dollar or peso, served as the major unit of currency of French Indochina (Present-day Vietnam, Cambodia, and Laos), and in the Ottoman Empire.

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piastre

What to do with a bitter scrooge?

2009-02-11T09:44:00.002-06:00

Put him out of his misery.

Is it still a pun if both words have the same root?

Violent Vegetarians

2009-02-02T14:10:00.003-06:00

Violent Vegetarians
or
Efficiency of Mashed Potato Making

Kill tubers with one stone.

I Concur

2009-01-31T06:48:00.001-06:00

I'm gonna have to agree with Roya on this one.

Consequences

2009-01-23T15:07:00.001-06:00

Sometimes:
You reap what you sow.
Othertimes:
You sew what you rip.

Eating When Bored

2009-01-02T22:09:00.001-06:00

If you eat when you are bored, does that mean that you are waisting time?

Toys and Play

2008-12-21T14:18:00.003-06:00

In honor of the impending enchilada (if not already impended), I dedicate this post to appropriate toys. An ideal candidate are plastic sea animals - graceful, colorful, peaceful. But, sometimes despite the best of the parent's best intentions, the kids have dolphin wars. That kind of defeats the porpoise.

Will Work for Food

2008-11-27T01:48:00.001-06:00

I'm not the only one. Many want a raisin pay.

How to Cut Your Electricity Bills in Half

2008-11-19T14:45:00.003-06:00

Step 1: Gather Tools. You will need

Utility bill
Scissors

Step 2: Choose direction:

Horizontal
Vertical
Diagonal
Some creative symmetrical pattern

Step 3: Cut along imagined dotted line

As if we don't have enough troube finding our tools.

2008-11-08T23:55:00.001-06:00

Four Piece Camouflage Tool Set

Why Computers Can't Think

2008-10-24T09:16:00.002-05:00

Do you know why computer's can't think?

Click HERE to find out.

An Analsys of Blog Posts

2008-10-20T16:26:00.001-05:00

I realize the some of these blog posts are down-right depressing. Others are up-lefting.

New Invention

2008-10-16T11:58:00.002-05:00

An invented bed
deep hole peaceful underground
It's name - the sleep well

Murphy's Law

2008-10-03T00:14:00.003-05:00

Generally speaking, Murphy's Law says "anything that can go wrong, will go wrong." This usually is a proof that the universe is out to get me.

For example, if I get some coffee while waiting for someone, they will show up, right when I sat down with a nice hot cup, and i'd have have to leave the coffee and go.

Lately, I've been using this law to my advantage. For example, If I am tired of waiting for someone, I will go get a cup of coffee to make them arrive sooner. It doesn't always work, but at least I get the coffee.

I have a vague feeling that i've blogged about this before. But, I am too tired to look it up to see if I did. I am going somewhere with this, though, so bear with the duplication.

All your base are belong to us

2008-09-29T22:08:00.002-05:00

Does that include the Natural Logarithmic Base (e)?

Relationships Reviewed

2008-09-24T20:08:00.003-05:00

Recently, somebody shared the observation that boys, once in a relationship will become more likable. They show more of those qualities one might be looking for in a relationship.

I noticed the same things about girls. Married girls seem more open and friendly as well. I can't comment about the boys.

The theory was shared with me, that, in a relationship, boys show these qualities more often. These qualities are developed and become more a part of their character.

My thought was that girls will often put up walls for protection. But, once married these walls come down. They are more free to show their qualities without misunderstanding. (Unfortunately, they sometimes underestimate the depths to which some boys can sink).

I admit, that my thoughts lacks some of the depth of the former. But, both could be true to some degree taking into account differences in individuals, faultiness of observation, and possibility of other reasons.

All the Angry People

2008-09-23T13:24:00.002-05:00

One of the things I have been noticing lately is all the upset people around. It's strange - almost culture shock. And the strange part is not that these people exist, it is that it is strange to me. I mean, I can be envious, angry, mad, jealous, cynical and sarcastic as the best of them. Or, at least I used to.

Now, the question is why not? Did something happen to me while I wasn't paying attention. And my preliminary assessment has led me to simple 2 step process to get rid of your angst.

Stop Caring
Start Caring

It's easy as that. In the high tech world of computers they call this technique "rebooting." This is the second step in any troubleshooting scenario right after "make sure your computer is plugged in." Step 1 stop caring. Turn the computer off. Let all the hate, jealousy, petty conflicts, dwelled on unpleasantness of life get erased from RAM. Step 2 start caring. Boot up fresh from disk. This is a good start. Some might need to clean the hard drive from viruses, malware, cookies, Trojans etc. These deep hurts don't always go away on the first try.

I do not know how this works as a conscious process, as I was unaware of what was happening. Also remember, in order to care, you have to be plugged in.

The Power of Advertising ... or lack thereof

2008-09-23T10:16:00.003-05:00

"Advertisings are incapable of estranging them from Thy Cause, and the vicissitudes of fortune can never cause them to stray from Thy pleasure."

Can trying to say prayers when not fully awake and eyes not working early in the morning be considered "Adversities"?

Web Cam Enabled

2008-09-22T11:13:00.002-05:00

I have a web cam for the first time. Now, I have to remember not to pick my nose at the computer.

Pharmaceuticals

2008-09-20T09:36:00.004-05:00

Pharmaceutical companies are big business. And they advertise their latest and greatest on the television. This is for prescription drugs. At the end of the commercial, they have a disclosure of side effects. This is usually at the end where all of a sudden the announcer will talk really softly and very quickly, "side effects may include vomiting, gout and decapitation." And it seems that these are all worthy of their own pills.

I am waiting for the ones where one pill will say "may cause diarrhea" and the remedy for diarrhea will say "may cause depression."

A Visit to Target

2008-09-16T00:00:00.002-05:00

I went to Target and than [sic, fully sick] the first thing I did was recall to memory the doggy sleeping bags.

And the Good News is ....

2008-09-14T15:08:00.002-05:00

Did I tell you that I got a free massage at the Ben Gurion Airport?

An Active Imagination

2008-09-13T09:03:00.002-05:00

I have an active imagination. I have idle fancies. Is that an oxymoron?

My Superman Fantasy

2008-09-13T08:50:00.001-05:00

It's just a great S-cape.

Traumatized Kids

2008-09-12T07:51:00.003-05:00

So, I am sitting here, early in the morning, drinking coffee, eating cheesecake, wanting to tell you about the children's class.

My mother, may she rest in peace (I move about at night and often wake her up), volunteered me to play the mandolin and teach the songs for a children's class - lesson 15 trust in God. The good advice to take in this situation is to heed not your frailties, which are:

Mandolin is in bad need of tuning (I have no tuner, other than my ears).
My ears are in bad need of tuning
I don't really know the song
I can't sing in tune, so I can't teach songs or I can teach songs out of key
Random other frailties which abound in abundance but only subconsciously apply to this story.

The first step is to tune the mandolin. I spent most of the eve of and a better part of the morning of the children's class just trying to tune the mandolin. Each pair must be in unison, or it sounds awful, sometimes even awful enough for me to hear it. Each pair must be tuned with the other. And if you are lucky to be in possession of a reference (i.e. tuning fork, chromatic tuner, piano), at least one of the pairs should be tuned to the reference. I was not lucky. This is not so important for the marriage song, but, alas, the lesson was trust in God. So, I was totally hopeless (reread if you did not catch the irony of the last few sentences).

The next step is to learn the song. Open the book to lesson 15 song "That is How Baha'is Should Be." I don't really know the song well. I do not know all the chords - oh look, another frailty. Practice. Practice. Practice. OK, so not so much practice. The chords on the untuned mandolin sound awful. I have no idea what key I am playing in - not that it matters so much to my ears.

I arrive at the apartment (no not A-flat) where the class is being held. Say hello to the teacher, the helpers, the parents. I take one last, desperate try at tuning. As the kids start to trickle in (no accidents, that's just an expression), the cutest kids ranging from about 3 to 8 years, I noticed that one brother and sister are wearing these headbands. Then I noticed that these headbands were holding something on the ears. Hearing aids?

The teacher has a CD she's been playing the songs from. I take a listen. It is not the same version of the song that I've heard in the past. So, I suggested that we sing the song with the CD and then pull the mandolin out later.

Lets get started with prayers - English, Spanish, Signed. We sing some past songs, and learn this song and do the rest of the lesson.

Sorry for the interruption. I had to go feed the chickens, and the rooster and the rabbit. I collected two eggs. I know what I am having for breakfast ... other than the cheesecake.

It's Mando time. All the kids get quiet. You know, thinking about what I would say ahead of time would have been a good idea. So, introduce the mandolin, "This is a mandolin. Um. Um. Um. It is like a little Guitar." I remembered how much trouble the "I play a little guitar" joke got me into in a former life. I decided not to compare it to the violin. I went straight for the music. I strummed a few chords. That sounds awful. So, I decide to pick out a song or two. I said something about music, I don't remember what.

Mutiny! Then one of the girls cries out "Old MacDonald!" I tell them "I do not know 'Old MacDonald'" All the kids start to sing "Old MacDonald had a farm..." I thought that this is gonna pose a problem, but now, I think they wanted to teach me because I did not know the song. So, I pick out Yankee Doodle. The kids sing along. Then they talk about how they like macaroni. I played the first half of "The Irish Washerwoman". I didn't tell them what it was called to avoid complications. I said something like this, "This is a song from Ireland. Ireland is an island far away. The Mandolin is a popular instrument there." I don't really know the second half.

I thanked them for their attention. As I put the mandolin away, they started to sing "Yankee Doodle" and talk about macaroni again. I hope I didn't traumatize them.

The American Way

2008-09-11T17:41:00.002-05:00

Having problem with a broken keyboard, I went out and bought a new computer.

Two Types of People

2008-08-27T14:14:00.000-05:00

There are two types of people in the world. Those who believe in the unity of mankind and those who think that there are two types of people in the world.

I never meta-physics I understood

2008-08-25T02:23:00.002-05:00

As I sit here computing on a hot day, I decided to go for breakfast. What's for breakfast? Bread and Hummus of course. Not just any bread, but, Nahid's whole wheat tortillas. Do not ask when Nahid left - its been in the freezer. This bread was defrosted and toasted on the gas stove top. Yum. So after a bit of distracted computing, I reach for a rip of bread, and to my surprise, it is cool. Not cold. But, cooler than this furnace of a flat. I've been thinking a lot about solar cooling. One day I hope to have an invention featured on grow the pie or at least have the premise of my theory debunked so that the world will not be deceived by my silver tongue - like, my whole wheat tortilla cooling system is bad for the environment because the Brazilians will chop down the rain forests to grow wheat or that corn tortillas are infinitely more efficient than corn tortillas, but the corn and research money is being funneled into pointless ethanol. Can you see the distracted computing?

Another Definition

2008-08-20T07:27:00.001-05:00

Inheritance - Finding money in your genes.

o·ver·ween·ing

2008-08-17T11:34:00.001-05:00

o·ver·ween·ing [oh-ver-wee-ning] –adjective
1. presumptuously conceited, overconfident, or proud: a brash, insolent, overweening fellow.
2. exaggerated, excessive, or arrogant: overweening prejudice; overweening pride.

My Next Gig

2008-08-15T03:07:00.002-05:00

So, reflecting on the future, I've decided what I am gonna do next. I will become a televangelist. Some of you might be saying, "wait a minute. You do not have the personality for that type of work." I know I don't. But, it would be an Altar Ego.

Reality Check

2008-08-14T08:38:00.002-05:00

I was cleaning one day. I had a handful of tools and what-not. So, I opened the tool drawer and uncurled my fingers and let all the random pieces of toolery fall to its resting place. As soon as gravity took over, I realized that this was the stationary (yes, it moves) drawer. The next instance the thought or reflex as it may be said, click undo.

The Nicer Side of Flipping Pancakes

2008-08-01T07:51:00.002-05:00

The nice thing about flipping pancakes is that it is easy to crepe up on people.

**Flipping is, in this instance a verb not an adjective.**

The Nicer Side of Being a Weirdo

2008-07-22T01:32:00.000-05:00

The nice thing about being a weirdo is that it is easy to creep up on people.

Wild Blackberry Jam

2008-07-10T10:25:00.002-05:00

While I was eating my PB on Pita this morning, I spotted some yummy looking wild blackberry jam. The label on the jar of jam said "conserve". So I did.

Memed Again

2008-06-25T10:32:00.002-05:00

If you are willing to admit to reading liamk, leave him a comment.

You are in a mall when the zombies attack. You have:

1. one weapon.
2. one song blasting on the speakers.
3. one famous person to fight alongside you.

Answer:
1. Ramboni
2. Zombie Dance
3. Gandalf (Grey or White)

Hey Preggers

2008-06-19T10:28:00.000-05:00

What's up?

Alcohol craving reduced by drugs

2008-06-12T11:15:00.001-05:00

The interestingly worded headline for THIS article.

The Blog Effect

2008-06-09T01:01:00.000-05:00

Don't you hate it when you have a blog and you gotta try to remember all the silly, unimportant things you say so you can post it later?

Funny Conversation

2008-06-05T10:17:00.001-05:00

E: See you later, aligator.
mE: Take care, crocodile.
E: Ha ha ha, I'm gonna laugh at that all day.
mE: That's going on the blog.

Five Songs

2008-05-20T12:32:00.003-05:00

I am up to five songs composed for the mandolin. I also have a theme to tie them all together in one neat little package.

The theme is similar to the Caged Monkey. You can read N's post while I still sit (or sit still or still sit still) bonded to this computer at 8:30 pm eating another banana.

There are other songs, but they are not fit for general consumption. They are quite specific in nature. I will dust off the Accommodations Song for an upcoming farewell. This one is rather unique. First, it is twice as long as any of the 5 mentioned above. Second, it actually requires that the mandolin be in tune.

I am going home now. MONKEY POWER!

Analysis of Humor

2008-05-14T10:40:00.000-05:00

I've analyzed my sense of humour. And sometimes it goes like this:

I askew a question. Then, I don't give a straight answer.

Beauty is Skin Deep

2008-05-12T07:04:00.002-05:00

Hence the term subcutaneous.

Good to See You Again

2008-05-03T01:28:00.000-05:00

Howdy! I've missed you guys. I really did think about you and longed to communicate with you. You see, the time was just not appropriate to post to such an unconventional blog.

It's All in the Definition

2008-04-13T08:04:00.003-05:00

You know why they say that Generation X-ers (no, not Billy Idol) are lazy and don't want to work? It is because as soon as they get a job, they become personnel.

What's That Word?

2008-04-10T00:51:00.000-05:00

Is there a special word for unidirectional interactive?

Party Poopers

2008-04-09T04:18:00.004-05:00

Once upon a time, I went to a party. Like at any party, there were lots of energetic friendly people. We ate, we talked, we danced. Unfortunately, at this party, I had to wait a long time to get something to drink, because there were many people waiting.

ɐılɐɹʇsnɐ ɯoɹɟ sƃuıʇǝǝɹƃ

2008-04-07T10:47:00.000-05:00

˙ǝɹǝɥ llıʇs ɯɐ ı ˙ƃuıppıʞ ʇsnɾ

Adam and Eve Revisited

2008-04-06T01:22:00.002-05:00

The serpent said, "After you finish that apple, you can have despair."

The History of Cheese

2008-04-02T01:18:00.002-05:00

The French have been eating cheese fromage to age.

Random Fact #3

2008-04-01T04:14:00.002-05:00

I am quite slow at times.

See here, here and here for the whole story.

Jammin by Numbers

2008-03-29T05:27:00.004-05:00

Four guitars
Two djembes
One clarinet
Three family singers
Two microphones
One electric bass
One banjo
Two didgeridoos (one player).
Five pizzas
One Mandolin

An Adventure Story for the Adventurer

2008-03-24T03:54:00.002-05:00

In response to Miss Brader.

When I was in Chelyabinsk, shortly after Naw Ruz, a member of our community showed up at my door. As she presented me with a pair of knitted socks, she apologized for missing the Naw Ruz party.

I was happy to accept this thoughtful gift, since you can still put warm socks to use at this time of year in the Urals. I was impressed by her humility by deflecting the attention from herself saying, "these are from Charlie."

A few days later, I put on my nice warm socks and headed to her flat for a home visit. Of course there were no official home visits in those days, but what else could I do? Upon being greeted at the door, it was apparent that Charlie the black poodle had lost a lot of weight. Coming into the living room, I saw the pile of hair in the corner next to the spinning machine. Although we were not yet officially living in a culture of learning at the time, I did learn something that day.